Somebodys Watching Me (Episode 1)

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with Jim Lenahan and Patrick Foster

If anybody finds out I'm a year older than everybody else my whole image will be totally ruined. I cannot believe that Kate was held back in kindergarten. What'd she do, fail nap time? Prepare your speech, Gordo. This is your Oscar winner. I can't believe it. I finally get something good and it's completely by accident. Maybe I can get some more of this. What do you mean?

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More of this hidden camera stuff. This has incredible potential. Come on. We're late. Hey, Dad, would you run me over with the car? In a minute, son. What'd I do? Mom, chill. It's for school. Oh, I am so looking forward to hear you explain this.

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What kind of career is this, insurance fraud? No, not cool. Very not cool. Why can't you be a doctor or a lawyer? That would require years of schooling. This I can do right now. Matt, we are not running you over with the car. I'll come up with something else. Who's watching, watching? Tell me who is watching Who's watching me? I always feel like somebody's watching me And I have no privacy, whoa-oa I always feel like somebody's watching me Who's playing tricks on me?

I always feel like somebody's watching me Okay, let's see what we got. Okay, you really want to know my secret? I'll tell you. Here, pet it. Just pet the bunny. I tell you I do it every time before a game. It'll bring you luck. Gordo, that was great. Do you realize what you have here? I mean--Do you even know what would happen if other people in school saw this stuff?

Yeah, they'd know what I've always known: That even the popular kids have stuff to be embarrassed about.

Rockwell - Somebody's Watching Me

Well, you've got to figure out a way to get everyone to see this. Come down here right now.

As soon as I open up the umbrella, Dad. No, son, you're going to use the ladder. Oh, man! Give me the umbrella. These things never work. Trust me, I know. What about sheets for a parachute?

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Even worse. Gets wrapped around your face. Look, look, this is it. I know exactly where my film's going to show. Where did you get this? Off the bulletin board. You read the bulletin board? We have a bulletin board? I think I have the ultimate real-life documentary about middle school. You're a lock, Gordo. Your film's going to be great. So, where's this so-called bulletin board?

Move it! Where's your lunch?

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To have lunch, you need money which I left in my backpack which I left on the bus this morning along with my third-period book report, my clean gym clothes, someone put gum on my locker and to top it all off I just found out that Larry Tudgeman uses my picture as a screen-saver on his computer. Well, want some of my french fries? Why don't they just slap a big sign on the school that says "Loser Farm" and be done with it?

You're having a really bad day, but school isn't that bad. You're right. It's not that bad.