Other Peoples Secrets
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But now, podcasting has pushed the pencil to one side — at least literally. His passion for the medium was born once he discovered This American Life and The Moth , two podcast series that string together stand-alone stories or narratives built around a set theme. The kind of story that strikes his chords the most though, is a story from a familiar voice — the voice of Arabs. And that was the impetus for Abdullah to unearth the untold truths around him, starting with the people by virtue of being his friends he should know the most about.
By the third gathering [still in cafes at this point], strangers began to attend. Steady steps were then taken to actualise and elevate True Story Tent to what it stands for now: a safe and non-judgmental space for letting out what has been held within the tomb of a person.
As word spread of this new outlet seeking to pioneer a new wave of the Middle Eastern narrative, the pressure was on for Abdullah to MC from top to bottom. But as it has grown, I actually really like it now. The last gathering [which happens every two months or so] was sponsored by Talabat. A gathering sees around 50 people in attendance now.
So, how does a typical True Story Tent gathering unfold?
Those who brave the mic share stories that may seem parochial before revealing a universal or even regional truth. The emphasis is on communicating with the audience, with sharing an experience, a memory, a moment of grace.
The stories possess a remarkable emotional depth and sincerity that forgives the odd stumble or crack in composure. In the future Abdullah plans to merge True Story Tent with meditation — his other lifeline.
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Both are very powerful parts of my life. If asked about something related to the secret, you must be careful not to slip up. This could require evasion or even deception. Constant vigilance and concealment can be exhausting.
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The real problem with keeping a secret is not that you have to hide it, but that you have to live with it, and think about it. The concept of secrecy might evoke an image of two people in conversation, with one person actively concealing from the other. Yet, such concealment is actually uncommon. It is far more common to ruminate on our secrets. It is our tendency to mind-wander to our secrets that seems most harmful to well-being.
Simply thinking about a secret can make us feel inauthentic. Having a secret return to mind, time and time again, can be tiring.
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When we think of a secret, it can make us feel isolated and alone. To better understand the harms of secrecy, my colleagues and I first set out to understand what secrets people keep, and how often they keep them. Across several studies, we asked participants to estimate how frequently they concealed their secret during conversations with others, and also how frequently they thought about the secret outside of social interactions. We found that the more frequently people simply thought about their secrets, the lower their well-being.
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The frequency of active concealment when interacting with others, however, had no relationship to well-being. Following up this research, a new paper reveals why thinking about secrets is so harmful. Turning the question around, we examined the consequences of confiding secrets. We found that when a person confides a secret to a third party, it does not reduce how often they have to conceal the secret from others who are still kept in the dark.
Secrecy - Wikipedia
Rather, it reduces how often their mind wanders toward the secret in irrelevant moments. The act of confiding a secret can feel cathartic and relieving. But mere catharsis is not enough. When confiding a secret, what is actually helpful is the conversation that follows. People report that when sharing a secret with another person, they often receive emotional support, useful guidance, and helpful advice.