He Is Your Husband : I Know You Are My Wife
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Bringing her a warm mug of something in the morning or a foot rub at night is a simple way to show your love and concern for her. Whether your wife relaxes by getting her nails done, hitting the gym, grabbing coffee with a friend, or going shopping, every woman has her favorite go-to activities when she's super stressed. Yet women too often put their needs last, so give her a gentle, guilt-free reminder to take care of herself.
Even better, make sure the children or other responsibilities are taken care of so she doesn't have to worry about anything while she's gone. When you were first dating, you always thought of each other, but now that the rush of romance has subsided it can be easy to lose the passion. Yet wives love to hear that you're thinking about her just as much now as they did then.
You don't have to hire a skywriter, just send her a quick text or even a sly wink across the table. Then she'll be thinking about you, too! New babies are a tough adjustment for the whole family, especially if they're not sleeping much, but it's usually the moms who take the brunt of it. Give her a break by offering to wake up at night and feed, change and settle the baby.
Even if she's breastfeeding, you can at least bring the baby to her or she can pump before she goes to bed. It's amazing what one full night of sleep can do for a mom's spirit!
And it's nice to hear that you miss her, too. It's true: Absence makes the heart grow fonder — but only if you tell her! Saying "I love you" is nice and all, but saying what specifically you love about her makes the sentiment that much more meaningful and heartfelt. Do you love the freckles on her nose?
The way she silently laughs?
The arch of her back? Her talent for writing? Tell her. Tell her every day. Letting your wife know when to expect you is a common courtesy.
Not only does it stop her from worrying if you're late or freaking out if you're early, but some days you are the light at the end of a long tunnel. Putting down your work and heading home shows her where your true priorities are. Being a mother is simultaneously the hardest and best job your wife has ever had, but unlike her previous jobs, with this one she doesn't get progress reports, raises, promotions, or kudos.
Every day can feel incredibly high stakes and yet she won't fully know how she did until the kids are adults and it's too late to change anything. Then you can work out the parenting kinks together. Self-esteem can take a serious nosedive during pregnancy. Yet for many men, nothing could be further from truth and they love seeing their wives pregnant. Let your wife know that you love everything from her battle scars stretch marks to her tummy and that you're grateful she's carrying your child. I asked her to elaborate her thoughts on the subject after her initial e-mail, and this is what she wanted me to share.
I help out with our business where I can. For years, we hardly made any money and I was his support system. I did a lot of the grunt work in the beginning to help lift the business off the ground. I was also a happy, independent woman who had a day job before our daughter was born. Having my own paycheck to spend as I wished was liberating. Despite the rise in our wealth and our income, I felt trapped because we only have joint accounts with different spending habits.
My husband is a miser who wants me to run all expenditures by him first. He simply cannot let go of his excessively frugal ways, even if it was hurting our relationship. As you know, being a stay at home parent is hard work. My husband spends more time on his business and on his hobbies than he does with me and his daughter. He tells people publicly how little he cares about money to justify his parsimonious ways.
My Husband Is A Rich Controlling Miser
But in secret, he is money obsessed. All he wants is more of it! Given our differences, I decided to get a divorce after 15 years of marriage. He bought another house close by while my daughter and I stay in our original home to reduce disruption. He can hoard his money as he pleases. The other reasons include: infidelity, lack of communication, constant bickering, weight gain, unrealistic expectations, lack of intimacy, lack of equality, not being prepared for marriage, and abuse. If one spouse only has the keys, that spouse determines their destination most of the time.
Think about the power dynamics in the workplace and how it is frowned upon for managers to date their subordinates. Think about the MeToo Movement. If you want to control your spouse , then feel free to make more money and throw up checkpoints before every dollar can be spent.
1. Being oblivious to financial matters.
The lack of equality between spouses is a bigger problem than society recognizes. Then they broke up. Being out of the workforce for years makes finding work difficult. This is true love. The key is to be selfless and think about the bigger picture. Having millions of dollars but nobody to spend it with is sad.
Financial freedom is a wonderful gift to give. Then all is good again! If you seek financial independence, then you must also give financial independence. Strive for equality every day. Readers, why do we seek financial freedom, yet are unwilling to give financial freedom to our partner or spouse with a separate financial account?
35 Things Your Wife Wants to Hear - What Husbands Should Say to Wives
How much does money have to do with power in a relationship? What type of money fights do you have and how are they resolved? Relief and heartache are my reactions to your article and to the comments which followed. I am 66 years old my husband is 70 and we are retired after raising a family of four. I worked for many years in a stressful job and bore the brunt of child. I eventually had to leave my job because of burn out.
I remained in receipt of a small pension and inherited money so was always able to pay for the family to have holidays outings and i furthered my own education. It took years for me to realise that my husband was not only frugal but cruelly mean. He to the outside world seemed charming and considerate. In reality he scorned spending on birthdays ,Christmas , utility items in the house,cars etc.
To save face i covered the costs and got myself into debt which I still pay off. It has taken until now for me to see that this behaviour was not about budgeting pe se but about lack of love and respect for me and above all about control. I have over the years confronted these issues head on but always end up demeaned and doubting my own judgement,He currently has a healthy bank balance but does not voluntarily offer me assistance. I feel like a dog begging for scraps.
10 Things Men Want From Their Wives
I have had enough of his behaviour and his ability to deceive others. Financially i am unable to leave him.. Your article has helped me see that fault is not all with me and has given me consolation in realising my judgement is not as flawed as he would have me believe. I am so grateful to happen upon this discussion.
50 Things To Say to Your Husband to Make Him Feel Great
My self esteem is non existent but I feel maybe there is hope. If you love someone and can afford to pay for them — you should pay for them. You should want to pay for them anyway. A family where individual members all earn enough to support an entire family makes a mockery of those families all stuck in jobs they hate because they have no other choice. I would even say you have narcissistic personality disorder! You probably imagine that you are some kind of hero too in that every time you dole out a little bit of money to your wife, you save the day and deserve some kind of special treatment, undying gratitude, and worship for it.
You have no honor, no integrity, no class, no revelation, and definitely no heart. Exactly what was it that made your wife fall in love with you? If you find yourself treating your wife to financial abuse then you need some serious counseling as to why you would subjugate her position of honor to one of servitude and disgrace and unworthiness and then you should get on your knees and pray to God for forgiveness of abusing what He gave to you!
What part of partnership means Me Myself and I? Have to agree, and I would say the guy described in the post was definitely in the wrong and sounds like the wife tried to resolve with things out to no avail. Honestly, I find a lot of the older women I have come across in my office environments more attractive overall than those my age for these reasons, but probably not practical.
Anyway, definitely agree that both partners should strive to be financially independent, and a stay at home partner should be compensated for duties performed. Great article, but you missed something about IRAs. I hope you update the article to reflect this.
My wife is still working because she enjoys it. Always had joint accounts — never had a problem. And doing it our way there are no secrets.